//blog//

9/27/21 - downward spiral // overreaction

it's been a while. i'm noticing my sense of time is getting worse again. days are just blending into one another, my workload for school is incomprehensiblly high, i'm starting to doubt whether or not i have a chance at making it in society. alright, enough of that lol. back to reality.

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i have like, 2 assignments due in 4 hours that'll take me an hour each to complete. nothing too difficult if i just put my mind to it. i guess i'm just annoyed by the fact that it takes me 2x longer than everyone else to finish assignments, and i'm not even learning anything from them. i spent two hours doing 2 questions for my physics homework today. TWO FUCKING HOURS FOR TWO QUESTIONS. yeah, i have disability accommodations for school, but the real world doesn't offer that sort of luxury. after college, i'm on my own, and i don't think i'll be able to manage it.

9/8/21 - never a dull moment // struggling to create

i missed working at the lab at my school. my first day back was a couple days ago. first thing i saw was my old friend from high school freaking out over some game he was playing on his switch. before the pandemic, someone come in to print something for a class that started in 5 minutes. needless to say they freaked out when i told them the printers weren't working that day. i love this job so much. you meet so many interesting people.

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in other news, i've lost interest in making music almost entirely. the only thing that i enjoy doing musicwise is playing the piano, and even that's gotten a bit uninteresting. it really sucks, honestly. i went from having the time of my life working on chiptune on my little gameboy, to struggling to even open FL Studio, and when i do, all the inspiration i had up to that moment just disappears. it sucks. i should just stop focusing on music for a year or two. come back to it when i have more time. i'm thinking of announcing the retirement of my music project, but i can't bring myself to do it just yet.

9/2/21 - first post.

i'm hungry. gonna go make some food now. see you next week.


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